August 17, 2010

average is the new special

I’m not special. I’m just like everybody else. I don’t deserve a prize or attention for trying to do the right things in life, which as far as I can tell is what average people do. Average people share French fries, blankets, and hugs. Normal, everyday, average human beings follow certain rules. At night, use the buddy system. He who smelt it, dealt it. You break it, you fix it. Average people make mistakes. They try. They fail. They try. They fail again. They try. And if they win, they don’t walk around the playground showing off their gold star. The full spectrum of human emotion passes through average people like a rainbow colonic.

It’s not easy being human. Those runty princes and princesses who think they’re special are at a disadvantage. They are not special. They’re just like you and me. Insecure. Hopeful. A blemish here, a doubt there. A heart that’s a secret lock box of whispers and giggles. Those swaggering aristocrats are just as full of fear and joy as the rest of us. In the summer, they are stinky. In the winter, they might wear their socks two days in a row.

Which is the best reason to just be yourself. And why not? Even those people who think they’re the love child of Zeus and a unicorn are just being themselves. Usually, those people behave like they’re special and are therefore easy to avoid. Avoid them! And start looking for average people just like you. They’re out there, and they’re probably looking for you too.

Be average. But don’t be a coward. Bravely be just you. Don’t feel gorgeous? On days where I feel fat or dumpy or just unlovable, you know what I do? I don’t wait for life to make me feel anymore gross than I already feel. I take the fight to life. I go out. I buy a nice shirt. I avoid mirrors or reflective surfaces. I hang out with other average friends, and laugh, and try to go to bed with a smile. Then I wake up and do it all over again. I fail. I try. I win. I fail.

Being average is a hard work.


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